Don’t Have Sex with Him Before He Marries You

Sexual ecstasy is the gift that you are going to give your husband as a wedding present. He is receiving the present of enjoying you sexually because he has decided to make a very special, lifelong legal commitment to take care of you. If you give him yourself sexually before he actually makes this very special commitment, you have nothing special to give him on his wedding day.

Men really do not care about the beautiful wedding ceremony. The ceremony is for you and your female relatives and friends. Your wedding celebrates the fact that he is promising you security for life. Since he is making the promise to take care of you from now on, his participation in the wedding ceremony is his gift to you, even though your parents may be paying for the ceremony. Your sexuality is your gift to him, and to do things in the proper order requires that he gives you his gift, his pledge of security, before you give him your gift, that is, your sexuality.

Doing things in the proper order is essential in making sure that all things get done. If he knows that he will receive sexual ecstasy as his gift for marrying you, but that he cannot have it until he marries you, he will be more likely to seek your sexual gift in the proper manner, that is, by marrying you. The age old question, “Why buy a cow (marry you) when you can get the milk (sex) for free?” is a good way to think about how men see casual sex and women who are casual about giving away their sexuality. You may not consider yourself to be “casual” about giving away your sexuality, but if you have sex with a man without having received his marriage commitment, he sees you as a casual sex partner, and he has no reason to make a marriage commitment. A marriage commitment means actually being married. Being engaged is not enough. Half of couples that get engaged do not actually get married.

Men love a challenge. Winning you as his exclusive sexual partner is the ultimate challenge for a man. If you don’t make winning you sexually his ultimate objective, that is, if you give yourself to him sexually before he makes the formal commitment of marriage, you may find that he becomes interested in a new challenge. Some men continue to use girls for casual sex until they find a girl that will not give herself to them, and then they decide that she is the one that they want to marry, because she is a challenge.

Other girls may make themselves sexually available, but you are to be a “creature like no other”. This is a hard and fast rule. Regardless of the argument that he or anyone else gives you, don’t have sex with him until the two of you are actually married. Being formally committed to each other is a good enough reason to have sex. Being in love is not.

There once was a couple that was engaged to be married. One evening, two weeks before their wedding, they went to dinner, and then the movies to see a “date flick”. The dinner was lovely, the movie was romantic, and they began to kiss on the way home. They became more passionate when they reached her place, one thing led to another, and because of their lack of self-control, they consummated their relationship.

He was distraught because of what they had done. He apologized profusely, and they cried together because they had soiled their previously pure relationship. He promised her faithfully that no one would have to know, and that he would make everything up to her. They held each other, and promised each other that they would keep themselves pure for the two weeks until the wedding. He dried her tears, kissed her gently, and than left to go back to his apartment.

On the way home, he was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver.

She soon found out that she was pregnant.

Don’t Have Sex with Him Before He Marries You.

Pastor Darryl Curtis
Family Life Baptist Church